come and listen: a poem

Like a sheep gone astray,
So have I been to You.
Like a lamb wandering in the wilderness,
So my heart wanders for You.

Lead me back to the water’s edge,
That I may drink of Your mercy and grace.
Teach me while I bathe in Your love,
Of the wonders of Your ways.

Break the fetter that is binding me,
To You only will I be enslaved.
Show me the wilderness is not my prison,
But my Valley of Achor being turned into a door of hope.

Allure me to Yourself again,
For I am prone to wander on my own.
Show me Your waters abound,
And in this desert, I will no longer be alone.

You and You only are Lord of my heart.
Our enemy will no longer keep us apart.
You have rescued me once again,
O, that I would remember Your nail scarred hands.

come, let us return to the Lord

Jeremy and I have been engaged for a little over 2 months now and...wow, I am ENGAGED!!...I have still yet to get use to that word and the magnitude of it.  Since my relationship with Jeremy began, I can say that my view of my relationship with God has expanded and deepened.  

Jeremy teaches me the other attributes of God that I would have no understanding about without him.  Jeremy teaches me about the holiness of God through this "other".  Holy in the hebrew scriptures would have meant something like:  other.  To make this more clear, when we say, "the Lord is Holy, Holy, Holy", we are actually saying, "the Lord is so much of what I am not".  God is perfect and good and I, so many times, am "other".  

Jeremy shows me the other attributes of God by being the man God created him to be.  His strength draws out the very life within me.  He shows me the strong, protective, providing, and leading characteristics of God in a way that I could not understand without him.  And as much good as he shows me, this also continuously makes me see where I am miserably wrapped up in myself.  I am incredibly selfish when it comes to loving others and loving God.  I see where I am focusing more on my own wants rather than looking to the needs of others.  And this should not be the way I am acting.  I am called to care for others and to have the mind of Christ...

your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus....

The more I realize my selfishness, my constant betrayal of God, I realize the depths of the hurts that I cause Him.  I show my disbelief in Him when I constantly look to things of this world to give me satisfaction.  I think that something in this world can give me more pleasure than the very One Who created me.  And so the Hosea story continues...me cheating on my God, my Love.  Me being selfish and not having the mind that says:  He satisfies.  

Father, that my mind be transformed into the likeness of Yours.    That I would decrease and allow you to increase.  That I would learn to love Jeremy with the same selfless love you offer to him.  That I would learn to love you with Love that is even more.  Amen.

you may say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one...

     I need to start writing again.  I feel that a part of me has been lost since I quit writing or journaling or expressing myself in any form of written communication.  Writing to me is like like having a million pieces of life scattered on the ground and putting them all together as one beautiful picture.  Life is a beautiful mess at times that simply needs to be straightened out and somehow understood.  Like most people I know, I want to be understood and connected to the people around me.  And this is where you, my readers, come in.  You may not always understand my writings (or agree with them), but I hope that in some way you are moved or challenged.  If nothing else, I hope that you feel a sense of community in reading another person's perspective on life.  Because, I do not want to sound all John Lennon, but I believe we are all connected in some way.  Our Creator designed us to desire community and in our individualistic society, community is in need of a great revival.  "..and I hope some day you'll join us and the world will live as one." -John Lennon

"And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.  And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles.  And all who believed were together and had all things in common.  And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.  And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people.  And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved."  

genesis 3: the night of the fall

Eden is quite. Two hearts beating fast is the only sound present. Tears begin to stream down the woman’s face as she realizes the depths of what she has done. The man’s eyes begin to fill with water as he realizes where his passiveness has gotten them. They tighten their garments and begin to walk east out of the garden. A tearful glimpse is cast back toward paradise lost; however, the guilty glance is not enough to redeem them.
Eden is silent. The sigh of a Lover’s breath is all that is heard. If only someone were there to hear it. He sits where He use to walk with her. He gazes at the land He created for her. His bride cheated on Him. Anger turns to sadness and pain is felt. The thought continuing to entertain His mind is: what is this thou hast done? However, Love found hope. He will allure her and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth. And in that day, she will call Him “My Husband” and He will make a covenant with her and will betroth her to Him in righteousness, justice, steadfast love, mercy, and in faithfulness. And she will know her Lord.

live in love

"We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in him. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them." -1 John 4:16

first impressions

i never know how to start a journal. it's an exciting moment...i could say anything and there is a lot to say. but, how does one make a good first impression. let me start out with this: God starts His story with "In the beginning, God...". so now, how does my story start? i guess the same way: in the beginning, God...created me, captivated my heart, died for me, asked me to walk with Him, and now continues to reveal Himself to me in ways that astound me each day. in the beginning, God... i think this is how every story begins.